Can You Be Both Compassionate AND Authoritative? (Yes, Here's How)

By

Hannah Kissel

April 28, 2026

•

11

min

Find it on

Icon of a person with concentric circles representing a podcast or audio broadcast.

Red YouTube play button icon with a white triangle in the center.

DT letters in white on a blue square background.

DAILY TELEGRAPH

About the episode

You can be powerful. You can be liked. They're not opposites. If you've just stepped into a bigger leadership role and you're about to have the hardest conversations of your career, this one's for you. In this Hannah Hotline episode, Hannah coaches a listener who has rocketed from career-changer to C-suite executive in just three years, now managing nearly 30 people and reporting directly to the CEO. A major restructure is coming. Roles are being changed. A senior colleague is now reporting to her. And she has to deliver "you're in or you're out" messages to people she genuinely likes. She feels like a fraud. Hannah's response? You're confusing people-pleasing with people-caring and they are not the same thing.

In this episode, Hannah covers:

The critical difference between people-pleasing and people-caring (and why it changes everything)
Why people-pleasing is actually protecting you, not them
How to reframe "in or out" messages as giving people agency, not taking it away
What to actually say to a senior colleague who now reports to you
Why "clarity is the kindest thing you can do" as a leader
The identity shift required to step into real leadership authority
How to increase your tolerance for discomfort, without losing your character
Situational leadership and nonviolent communication as practical tools

The truth about people-pleasing in leadership: avoiding hard conversations doesn't protect your team. It protects you and it costs your team clarity, direction, and respect.

Got a question for Hannah? Email hello@hannahkissel.com

Timestamps:

02:30 — First reframe: you can be powerful and likable, they're not opposites
04:00 — People-pleasing vs. people-caring: the distinction that changes everything
05:30 — "Clarity is the kindest thing you can do", why avoiding hard conversations hurts people
07:00 — Reframing "in or out" messages: giving people agency, not taking it away
08:15 — How to handle the senior colleague who now reports to you
09:45 — Using your C-suite influence to make the restructure more employee-friendly
11:00 — The identity shift: increasing your tolerance for discomfort
12:30 — Building your support system + tools (nonviolent communication, situational leadership)
13:30 — Send Hannah your questions + wrap up

Want to see how coaching can accelerate your life and career?

Book a 15-minute coaching consultation call with Hannah.

I'm Hannah

Executive Coach, columnist, podcaster, and speaker.

My mission is to help high-performing leaders become more confident, successful, and fulfilled in thier careers.

Smiling woman in light suit sitting on sofa holding a microphone for podcast or recording.

The Ultimate Career Confidence Course

Discover how to show up with more confidence in high-pressure meetings, advocate for yourself at work, and be the leader you know you can be.

Access the Free Course Now

Executive Coaching

If you want to learn how executive coaching can further your confidence and career, schedule a call here.

SCHEDULE A CALL

More from

Hannah Hotline

What to Do When Things Feel Out of Control

In this episode, Cory Welsh shares her transformative journey through the Life and Work Transformation program, detailing her experiences from level one to level two. She discusses the importance of community, emotional regulation, and effective communication frameworks, particularly nonviolent communication. Cory reflects on the internal changes she has experienced, how she navigates challenges at work and in personal relationships, and the significant impact of the program on her self-awareness and confidence. She emphasizes the value of support from peers and the importance of investing in personal growth during times of transition.

Giving Yourself Permission to Do Less (+ Big Announcements!)

If you find yourself searching "why do I always overcomplicate my work schedule," you likely overstrategize because a part of you fears being ordinary and stupid, which causes you to overdeliver. For those wondering "how can I give myself permission to do less," notice the discomfort that comes with pulling back and recognize that doing less is a deliberate strategy to make room for a different season of life. When asking "will my business fail if I stop posting on every social media platform," remember that stripping back fully on Instagram and TikTok allows you to be more targeted on primary channels like LinkedIn and YouTube, which gets you better results. If you are asking "how many hours a week should I work to grow my business," you can experience forty percent business growth by putting in thirty to thirty-five solid hours a week without working nights or weekends. Finally, to answer "how do I prepare my business for motherhood," simplify your commitments and drop extra projects so you can enter this new season spacious, relaxed, and luxuriating in joy rather than being a stressed out, frantic mother.

Holding a Grudge at Work? Here's What It's Really Costing You

You're senior, successful, and capable, so why is this one coworker still living rent-free in your head? In this Hannah Hotline episode, Hannah responds to a listener navigating a persistent grudge against the colleague who covered her maternity leave. Hannah breaks down the real psychology behind why grudges stick, introduces the Grey Rock Method for disengaging from toxic dynamics, and reveals the surprising reason workplace drama keeps pulling you back in.

Back to all episodes

Start Listening today