Can You Be Both Compassionate AND Authoritative? (Yes, Here's How)
About the episode
In this episode, Hannah covers:
- The critical difference between people-pleasing and people-caring (and why it changes everything)
- Why people-pleasing is actually protecting you, not them
- How to reframe "in or out" messages as giving people agency, not taking it away
- What to actually say to a senior colleague who now reports to you
- Why "clarity is the kindest thing you can do" as a leader
- The identity shift required to step into real leadership authority
- How to increase your tolerance for discomfort, without losing your character
- Situational leadership and nonviolent communication as practical tools
The truth about people-pleasing in leadership: avoiding hard conversations doesn't protect your team. It protects you and it costs your team clarity, direction, and respect.
Got a question for Hannah? Email hello@hannahkissel.com
Timestamps:
02:30 — First reframe: you can be powerful and likable, they're not opposites
04:00 — People-pleasing vs. people-caring: the distinction that changes everything
05:30 — "Clarity is the kindest thing you can do", why avoiding hard conversations hurts people
07:00 — Reframing "in or out" messages: giving people agency, not taking it away
08:15 — How to handle the senior colleague who now reports to you
09:45 — Using your C-suite influence to make the restructure more employee-friendly
11:00 — The identity shift: increasing your tolerance for discomfort
12:30 — Building your support system + tools (nonviolent communication, situational leadership)
13:30 — Send Hannah your questions + wrap up
Hi there, I'm Hannah
Executive Coach, podcaster, speaker, writer, and builder of big f*cking Dreams. My mission? To help ambitious professionals build self-acceptance, self-trust in their careers.
The Ultimate Career Confidence Course
Discover how to show up with more confidence in high-pressure meetings, advocate for yourself at work, and be the leader you know you can be.
.png)
