Clean Pain vs Dirty Pain (Job Loss, Negative Feedback, etc)

By
Hannah Kissel
July 15, 2025
•
19
min
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About the episode

Clean pain like job loss or negative feedback is an inevitable part of life, but we often react by spiraling into dirty pain characterized by rumination and self-judgment. You can manage these types of pain by practicing emotional regulation and developing your emotional literacy to better process your feelings and responses. In this episode of Hannah Hotline, Life Coach Hannah Kissel explores the concepts of clean pain and dirty pain derived from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. She provides insights into specific coping strategies for turning toward discomfort and emphasizes why leaders must provide actionable examples when giving feedback.

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Key Takeaways:

  • Clean pain is inevitable and part of life.
  • Dirty pain arises from our reactions to clean pain.
  • Emotional regulation is crucial for personal and professional success.
  • Feedback should be specific to be effective.
  • Leaders must provide actionable examples when giving feedback.
  • Understanding your emotional responses can prevent spiraling into dirty pain.
  • Practicing emotional literacy helps in managing pain.
  • Turning toward discomfort can lead to better coping strategies.
  • Self-awareness is key to emotional regulation.
  • Communication is essential in addressing feedback and improving relationships.

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I'm Hannah

Executive Coach, columnist, podcaster, and speaker.

My mission is to help high-performing leaders become more confident, successful, and fulfilled in their careers.

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