Overcoming Fawning: How to Set Boundaries in Your Career

By
Hannah Kissel
July 14, 2026
19
min
Listen to the episode
Green circle with black stylized sound waves representing the Spotify logo.
Spotify
Icon of a person with concentric circles representing a podcast or audio broadcast.
Apple Podcasts
Red YouTube play button icon with a white triangle in the center.
Youtube

About the episode

"Stop protecting the people who treat you poorly." Are you the person who jokes about being a "people pleaser" but goes home feeling drained, anxious, and deeply resentful? You might not just be "nice"—you might be experiencing the "fawn" trauma response. Most of us know fight, flight, or freeze, but fawning is the lesser-known, often more dangerous response where you literally prop up people who don't deserve it just to survive the interaction. In this episode, we're doing the "shitty work" of peeling back those layers to understand why you learned to sacrifice your own needs just to avoid conflict. If you're tired of self-gaslighting and are ready to stop setting yourself on fire to keep others warm, this is your wake-up call.

Heading 1

Heading 2

Heading 3

Heading 4

Heading 5
Heading 6

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur.

Block quote

Ordered list

  1. Item 1
  2. Item 2
  3. Item 3

Unordered list

  • Item A
  • Item B
  • Item C

Text link

Bold text

Emphasis

Superscript

Subscript

Here, we explore:

  • What the fawn trauma response actually looks like in high-performance careers.
  • How to differentiate your adult self from the "exile" parts of you that learned people-pleasing as a survival mechanism.
  • Tactical ways to set boundaries and pause before you say "yes."
  • How to detach from the outcome when setting boundaries (spoiler: their reaction is theirs, not yours).
  • Moving toward a freer, more fulfilled life by embracing authentic relationships


Timestamps:

01:17 Personal Story: Hannah's Workplace Fawning
02:45 Defining Fawning & Why It Happens
03:38 Taking Action: Stopping the Cycle
04:42 Why We Self-Gaslight at Work
06:15 The IFS Approach to People-Pleasing
07:00 Managers vs. Exiles: How Our Parts Work
08:30 Connecting Old Survival Strategies to Today
09:15 The Power of the Pause
10:33 How to Find "Expanders" to Model Boundaries
12:30 Detaching from Other People's Reactions
14:10 Why This Work is Uncomfortable (But Worth It)
15:10 The Freedom of Authentic Relationships
15:55 The "Cruise Ship" Analogy for Change
16:18 Life & Work Transformation Program Info

Hi there, I'm Hannah

Executive Coach, podcaster, speaker, writer, and builder of big f*cking Dreams. My mission? To help ambitious professionals build self-acceptance, self-trust in their careers.

Smiling woman in light suit sitting on sofa holding a microphone for podcast or recording.

The Ultimate Career Confidence Course

Discover how to show up with more confidence in high-pressure meetings, advocate for yourself at work, and be the leader you know you can be.

Get the free course

More from

Hannah Hotline

Start Listening today

Read Hannah Hotline in The Daily Telegraph

We've gone analog! You can find Hannah Hotline, Hannah's career advice column and podcast, every other Tuesday in The Daily Telegraph, one of Australia's largest newspapers.

Smiling woman with wavy hair sitting on a beige armchair with a light-colored dog on her lap.